Silence is Excruciating

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     One time I signed up for a 10-day meditation retreat.

     I'd read a book about meditation and tried doing the recommended exercises.  They were really hard and  I decided I'd never be able to wrestle my monkey-mind into quiet submission.  

Useful Susans

     Maybe you thought I'm only interested in trivial things like ugly carpet, outfits for pets, and, say, the quality of ice on airplanes.  

     But today I want to take a little of your time to discuss a serious matter.  This issue is very close to my heart.  I'm talking about the outrageous and ongoing defamation of the character of people named Susan.  

     This happens every time someone brings up the slanderously-named "Lazy Susan".   Seriously, this practically calls everyone named Susan out on one of the 7 Deadly Sins.

The Challenging Art of Doing Nothing

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." - Bill Watterson

     A friend said recently:  "You sure like to be busy." 

     "No I don't.  I like to be lazy!"  She sort of snorted, in a 'yeah, right' kind of way.

      I really do aim at being lazy. I'm just not always that good at it. 

     My plan is to rush through getting my stuff done so I can lie around staring into space, maybe take a nap if the mood strikes...

     Decades ago I had this ongoing conversation with a girl I knew.  The general idea was that the world is divided into two types of people:  Be-ers and Do-ers.  

My Diva Demands

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         This week I've been researching what it takes to be a really obnoxious diva.   What with the way people become famous for nothing these days, you just never know when it might happen to you.  I, for one, plan to be prepared.

         The first thing any self-respecting diva needs is a large entourage.

         Madonna's most recent tour required an entourage of 200.   Now, I'm not going to try and out-diva Madonna.  I'm more aiming for an average between, say, Celine Dione, J. Lo., and Mariah.  

         I think a modest 50-70 people to do my bidding is a good start.

The Mane of My Existence

     When I was younger life was much more angsty.  I'm not sure if age and wisdom make it better now, or the fact that hair products have improved. 

     Not that my hair troubles are over.

     Sometimes I wonder what percentage of my life has been devoted to my hair.  How many hours have I spent fiddling with it; having it cut, permed, dyed, styled, straightened, conditioned, brushed, braided, tugged and tortured?