Hell on (Three) Wheels

     A gate agent came down to brief the crew about our flight:

    "You're going to have two LEO's (Law Enforcement Officers) accompanying a prisoner.  They are armed.  And they need an aisle chair*."

     "Uhhh...wait.  One of the officers needs assistance?"  (I was picturing a pretty unfair race when the prisoner decided to ditch their mobility challenged guard.)

     "No." the agent says.  "The prisoner needs an aisle chair.  She only has one leg."

     "What could she possibly have done?"

Home Away From Home

     Holiday Inn's slogan for years was "The best surprise is no surprise."  I think this is an excellent credo for any hotel chain.  Averaging around 8 to 11 nights away from home per month, flight attendants develop a lot of preferences in the hotel experience.

     These can probably all be boiled down to "No Surprises".

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Grown-up Garanimals: Confessions of a Functionista

     I pretty much wear clothes because it's customary in our culture.  (Thank goodness.)  But wardrobe planning is not a talent of mine.  Through the years I've had some pretty drastic fashion highs and lows.

Wake-Up Call

     On a good day, on the road, when the alarm goes off I just get up.  My cell phone makes a gentle little harp-like sound.  It's as if my own little angel is gently nudging me out of sleep and into another lovely day.

On a bad day it goes more like this...