My Pet's Peeves: 50 Ways I Annoy My Cat

     I irritate Ella a million times a day.  

     I'm so crazy about her and do my best to make her happy.  How can I piss her off so often...and so badly? 

     Easy!  Here are 50 (to narrow it down considerably) of Ella's least favorite things:

         1-Ella hates it when I get out of bed.  (She's usually plopped on me, and seems to say 'Hey...I'm sleepin' here!')

         2-It bothers her when I get up from a chair.   'Hey!  I'm takin' a nap here!' - (Yes, if Ella could talk, she would sound like a particularly annoyed New York cabbie.)  Ella would prefer I serve as her own personal mobile cat bed.  

Knight Life

http://www.cafepress.com/+templar-cross+boxers         

      I was talking to a man on a flight last week.  He has these neighbors from Romania who invited him and his wife over for a party.  One of the other guests was His Excellency, the local Romanian Consul.   (We both agreed that 'Your Excellency' is a pretty sweet title.)  

      The guy noticed His Excellency's distinctive lapel pin.   (A red cross with a silver sword over it.) 

      American:  "Is that a symbol of Romania?"

      Romanian:  "No.  I'm a Knight Templar."

How Watching Movies Can Make You Healthier

http://pgx.com/us/en

          There's a series of movies that will make you fitter and healthier.  It's like magic!  All you have to do is sit there on your keister and watch 'em.  

          But I warn you:  There's no going back.  Your brain will, officially, be washed. 

The Enforcer

hamwx.com

    Enforcing FAA regulations is the main reason my job exists.  Sadly, it also creates a lot of panic in certain passengers.

     The trickiest rule is for those passengers sitting in bulkhead rows.  These are the rows that have no seats in front of them.  Unfortunately, they also have no place to stow carry on items.  If you're in one of these rows everything has to go up for take-off and landing.  (Yep, even purses and laptops.)