The Enforcer

hamwx.com

    Enforcing FAA regulations is the main reason my job exists.  Sadly, it also creates a lot of panic in certain passengers.

     The trickiest rule is for those passengers sitting in bulkhead rows.  These are the rows that have no seats in front of them.  Unfortunately, they also have no place to stow carry on items.  If you're in one of these rows everything has to go up for take-off and landing.  (Yep, even purses and laptops.)



     We make multiple announcements about it, tell passengers directly as they get to their rows,  apologize that they are in these rows, sympathize that, yes it's annoying, and encourage them to put their stuff up right away so their items will be nearby.  We also assure them they can have whatever they want down during the flight; it just has to go up for take off and landing.

     The majority of people grab their book and bottled water, stow their bags, and sit back down happy as clams.  No problem at all.

     Then there are those passengers who go into a tail spin at the mere thought.  This type passenger experiences acute separation anxiety.

     It's like they are reliving every experience of loss in their lives; It reminds them of the first time they were abandoned at daycare, the death of their first pet, their stolen letter jacket that was never returned...

     How can we ask them to give up their security suitcase, guitar, or backpack?

     They go through all the stages of grief right before our eyes.  It's painful to watch, but a flight attendant's job is to guide them through these stages as quickly as possible so we can get everyone to their destination.  

     First comes Denial:
     "But I didn't have to do that on my last flight!"
This could be an outright lie (they may have gone through this whole scenario on their last flight too), or it could be that:  

         a) the flight attendant on their other flight is retiring and doesn't care that she will be reprimanded by the company,

         b) the other flight attendant was distracted by someone doing something more serious,

         c) the other flight attendant is independently wealthy and doesn't mind having the FAA garnish her wages to pay the thousands of dollars in fines because she didn't ask the passenger to comply with the rules, or

         d) The passenger was on a different aircraft type, or in a different row and had their own under seat stowage area. 

        

     Then comes Anger. 
     They are indignant:  "Why me?  Why has the world given me this horrible burden to bear?  It's not fair! Those people behind me don't have to put their bags in the overhead bin! Who made this rule?  I'm writing a letter to your boss, the FAA, the national government, the president, your mother, or directly to God.  I hope they all will decide that you must die!"

     It's usually helpful to go do something else at this point.  It gives the passenger time to adjust to their fate.  

     Before going I explain that we're just asking them to put their bags in the overhead bin-barely three feet away from them.  I want to add (but don't) that we're not taking it off to some remote location to have it blown up.

     But they react as if it's Sophie's Choice; They have to decide whether to take another flight (where they won't be asked to make these horrible sacrifices), or to go ahead and separate from their tote bag for as much as15 minutes!

      Next comes Bargaining.
      When I return to the bulk head rows the bags are often still on the floor; frequently 'hidden' under a sweater or jacket.    

   
     They explain that it's okay behind their feet, or 'it's just my purse/laptop, etc."  

       

     We tell them the rule is not up for discussion.  The rows have to be clear or we can't go.  

     Then they go into deep Depression:
     This is when the passenger will slunk over and start pouting.  It's clear that they feel their lives are ruined.  I want to assure them (but don't) that someday they will recover from this awful blow and go on to live full and happy lives.

     Finally; Acceptance:
     Most passengers will eventually come to terms with the situation.  (Often because their fellow passengers are glaring at them for holding up the flight.)

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     It still surprises me how much drama goes into getting bags into the overhead bins...and 9 times out of 10 when we get in the air, and I go back to get their stuff down for them...

      They smile serenely and say:  "It's okay...I don't need it."

      I want to ask (but don't):  "Was all that really necessary?"

Are you the laid-back type passenger...or do you really need your stuff at all times?