Facebook Nation

     "If facebook were a physical nation, it would now be the third most-populous on earth."  I read this in the July 22, 2010 issue of The Economist.  (I was waiting at the doctor's office and the pickings were slim.)

     Now there are a billion users.  In population it's still behind India and China...but not by much.

     But what would facebook really be like, as a nation?  Would it have the world's lowest GNP?  What about our test scores?  I mean, really, who has time for work and study when there are all those great posts to read?

     Here's what I imagine the nation of facebook's entry in an encyclopedia (remember those?) would look like: 

Ode to Pie

   

     A friend told me about a place in Seattle called 'Pie Bar'.  It's a bar...with pie! 

        Just the thought of it makes my heart skip a beat.

        This is from Sarah Galvin's almost too-good-to-be-believed account of the place:

        "I had a view of...a row of fresh pies
        cooling, grandma-style, on a windowsill.
        The bar's flagstone walls and chandeliers
        create the atmosphere of a tiny pie
        castle."

         

        A pie castle!?  Can you even think of anything in the world as exciting-sounding as a pie castle?

        It's like Cinderella decided to elope with both a baker and a bartender and the threesome consummated their beautifully unholy union on an extended honeymoon in a magical land:  Booze and buttery crusts!  Glass slippers and taffeta flying willy-nilly off the turrets!  Coconut cream-filled moats, and merengue-breathing dragons.  What a delightful scene of debauchery!  

Bad Break-Up

-Winter 1993

         I'm living in Manhattan...but just barely. 

         I limp around the city with a hole in my heart the size of the Chrysler Building.

         It doesn't help that everyone else is in a happy relationship.  Everywhere I look I see smiling couples; arm in arm, kissing, gazing at each other, picking out towels and china at Macy's and Gracious Home.

Bond, Mrs. James Bond

From wiki.org

        Bond girls are exotic and mysterious, and mystery just doesn't have a very long shelf-life.     

        I've been pondering the role of Bond girls since this little incident:

        Michael was opening a bottle of champagne to celebrate our anniversary.  I couldn't stop myself from saying:

        "Don't forget to point it away from your face!"  Michael looks irritated.  

        "A Bond girl would never say that to 007."  He says.