She goes by Mo.
Her husband's name is Larry.
I suppose it doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess their dog's name is Curly.
-Standing in Miami Airport.
A man keeps walking by talking pretty loudly to himself.
The main thing I have picked up is him repeating:
"Im going to Hell. I'm going to Hell."
I wanted to say:
Who has those route rights these days?
and
Have a nice trip, sir!
-Michael and I were on the way to Houston - sitting in traffic that was barely moving.
A police car zoomed past on the shoulder with his lights flashing.
I joked: Really, Officer, if you're wanting to give someone a ticket, I doubt you'll have much luck here.
Michael: Maybe he's writing tickets for loitering.
-There's a full moon tonight, and it shows.
In one first class cabin I had the 6 million dollar man and his wife, and a family going to participate in some embarrassing (is there any other kind?) "reality" TV show.
The rest of the plane is filled with people who, apparently, have left their homes for the first time today.
There is much confusion and conflict.
I'm looking around for hidden cameras; I might just be on a "reality" TV program myself.
-I called up to the cockpit to see if they were ready for their dinner. The captain said neither of them were eating. Naturally, I was shocked. He explained that they needed to look good because they were both entered in a thong competition when they got into Las Vegas.
-Just read that the earth is "spinning at a rate of roughly 930 miles per hour." I don't remember ever hearing an actual mph figure.
!!!What a startling factoid!!!
...Shouldn't we all be strapped in??
-It's kind of good when you have one of those nights when at 6:30 you think:
I'm really not that hungry. I think I'll just have some fruit and yogurt.
...until it's 10:30 and you think:
Now I think I'll have the entire remaining contents of the kitchen.
-I had one of those 'roll the windows down-gesture' moments:
I used a thermometer, then pushed the button to reset it. But then I couldn't control the urge to give it a few good shakes of the wrist.
I know it's digital.
I know I don't need to make the mercury go back down.
But, in my mind, a thermometer doesn't get reset any other way.
-There was a business man on my flight. I admired his lapel pin. It was a small gold mouse with tiny diamonds on it.
"A mouse?" I said.
"A rat." He said. "...because I'm in the rat race."
"Ahhhaaaahaaaahaa...." I said.
-We were at Costco looking for some Off! (or comparable) insect repellant.
They only had wasp and hornet spray with long-range spray.
"No problem. We'll just arm ourselves with cans of the stuff, stand in the back yard at 20 paces, and spray each other down."
-On the crew van going to our hotel in Los Cabos, Mexico I was working out in my head how to place my room service order. I asked the speaker how to say 'papaya' in Spanish.
She said: papaya.
-Ever wonder what all those deposed dictators do after they lose their jobs?
Do they stand on street corners with signs reading: "Will oppress for food" ?
-Michael was helping me carry in some shopping. He looked in the PetSmart bag.
"Oh, you got me some salmon treats! Yum!"
"Sure, go for it." I said. "But, I wouldn't let Ella catch me with salmon breath, if I were you."
-There was a woman on my flight from Dallas to Phoenix who was going to her 40th high school reunion. I offered her some mixed nuts and she said: "No, thank you, I have to lose ten pounds before we land."
-"Boo-frickity-hoo." -Dr. Evil (Said while balling up his fist and pretending to cry.) We watched one of the Austin Powers movies this week (II?).
-A Conversation with Michael:
just sit around all day and cackle like hyenas.
Michael: But we already do that.
Me: (Laugh.)
Michael: See.
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