December 31, 2019 - 109 - "Book Report: "Superhuman by Habit" by Tynan"

New Decade/New Habits    

     I was texting with my brother yesterday.  He said he didn't ordinarily make New Year's Resolutions, but he wanted to lose some weight and feels it's necessary for his health, so he's going to make an exception this year.  

     I thought of a book I'd listened to on Audible called "Superhuman by Habit", by a guy named Tynan and recommended it to my brother. The book is all about getting to your goals in a consistent way by changing habits in tiny increments.

    According to Forbes magazine "less than 25% of people actually stay committed to their resolutions after just 30 days, and only 8 % accomplish them."  Their recommendation is not to set resolutions, but goals.

     Tynan, the writer of "Superhuman By Habit" goes one further and says to create really tiny goals; goals so small you can't help but hit them.  His theory is if you consistently implement your small good habits you get momentum going that can carry you toward more positive changes.

     He says to focus first on the the types of goals that make the biggest difference.  He suggests eating better or exercise goals because those have the biggest effect on all areas of your life.  You feel better, rest better, have better mental clarity, etc.  And those things will tend to lead to other things in your life improving.

Still Good

     Talking about the book led to downloading it to my phone again.  I've listened to almost the whole thing (it's a quick read...uh...listen) just while folding clothes and running a few errands.

     The book is read by the dorky, but loveable writer.  (Projection?)  At first it's a little tough hearing about this 'life-changing new system'...from a guy who sounds really, really, young, but he actually is onto something.  

December 30, 2019 - 108 - "I Can't Retire: How Will I Get Anything Done?"

Productivity and Deadlines

    You know that saying:  "If you want something done, ask a busy person."?  That's so true.  Not only if you're looking for someone to help you.  But also if you're trying to get stuff done.

      I've lived both ends of this stick.  For years I'd hold vacation schedules that in no way resembled our vacation plans.  I'd have to back up trips before and after our actual vacations, but then I'd have these random periods of time off.

      So I'd make big plans for all the things I was going to do:  I'm going to clear out the garage,  write a novel, get my car inspected, read 'War and Peace', solve world hunger, etc.

     But then the vacation would come and the first day I'd think:  'I really need to enjoy my vacation time a little.  Today I'm going to just chill out.

     And then I'd start making plans with friends..  Or I'd volunteer to do something I'd regret later.  In one way or another I'd end up filling up or frittering away my time off.

    Until towards the end of the vacation when the thing I actually needed or wanted to do became crystal clear.  All else fell away and I would buckle down and get some pretty incredible stuff accomplished.

---

Where's the Deadline?

  And that's why retirement makes me nervous.

     When I worked a 9-5 job I always got the most  done

Sunday night before going back to work on Monday.  After a weekend of not getting much done I would suddenly get into gear.

December 29, 2019 - 107 - "Hey!: Only I Can Insult Me"

Self-Deprecation:  Exaggeration For a Laugh or Underselling Yourself?"  

    I've been doing one of those Master Classes online.  The instructor is David Sedaris.  (So talented and sooo hilarious.)  

     The only other class I've taken is Steve Martin's.  Do you see a theme here?  

     The good news:  I'm working on becoming a fantastically funny writer.  The bad news:  So far I'm only known for funny grammar and spelling.  

     Did you see what I did there?  I'm utilizing one of the top three writing tools recommended by David Sedaris:  Self-deprecating humor.  (Well, more of a self-deprecating comment, really.  Oh...there I go again.) . 

     In researching this post I found a lot of positive articles about a person using self-deprecating humor as having a high EQ (Emotional Intelligence).  It's supposed to be a good thing, for example, if a leader is able to recognize their own shortcomings and laugh about them.

A Double-Edged Sword

     But there are some problems with this type of humor.

     First of all...if you're not a particularly healthy person, it can be used to make everyone around you constantly bolster you up.  Like in "The Joy Luck Club" where one of the mom's, Mrs. Jong, "by tradition, criticizes her own cooking as a way of eliciting compliments."  (from cliffsnotes.com)  Her daughter is horrified when Rich, her fiance, agrees with Mrs. Jong's criticism about one of her specialty dishes. 

 

December 28, 2019 - 106 - "Rainy Day Retreat"

 

     Six days working more than a dozen flights, then Christmas at Mom and Dad's, then Christmas here with the kids, their spouses, the grand dogs, and the world's sweetest grandbaby...

    And it was all soooo good. 

    But, I was ready for some down time.  (Introverts Unite!  (Uh, you know...separately.)

---

    I woke up around 5:30 this morning and was surprised...and thrilled that it was raining out.  It was fairly warm, almost balmy, considering it's the end of December.  

     Usually I have to make DIY rain with my Noisili sound effects app.  But not today.  I went to sit out on the front porch.  (Always an unexpected treat this time of year.)

    Now I 'm not saying I like rain as the norm.  Growing up in a sunny climate, I feel like dealing with a whole lot of gloom can get old fast.  But, as a change of pace, I dearly love it!

Especially when:

December 27, 2019 - 105 - "Sweet-aholic"

     Hi.  I'm Susan...and I am a Sweet-aholic.

     I know this about myself.  For me eating sugar is the top of a slippery slope leading nowhere good.  A sugary drink leads to candy, candy leads to pie...and next thing you know I'm having chocolate for breakfast.

     I know better than to think I can have 'just a little'.  What makes me feel my best is to eat a lot of nutrient dense food with emphasis on vegetables and lean protein.  The closer I stick to this approach to eating, the less I crave sugar.

     But even when I am consistently avoiding sugar and eating an optimal diet...I still want sugar.  You could wake me up from an exhausted sleep at 2 a.m. and ask if I'm in the mood for a piece of pie...and I would say 'Yes!  Where is it?  Let me at it!' 

     I've read and seen documentaries saying that sugar has the same effect on the brain as cocaine.  I don't doubt that even a little.  No matter what my rational mind says.  No matter how awful I know it is for me...I still want some of the stuff.  All.  The.  Time.  Seriously.

     For the past week or so I've had a lot of sugar.  Passengers and other crew members brought it to us.  Hotels provided it.  My mom made candies and pies.  Other family, friends, and neighbors brought or sent us sugar.

     And I made that Red Hot Salad.  I'm sure you know by now that this is my kryptonite.  I could sit down with a big bowl of it and a spoon and not stop until my tongue glowed a bright red from the dye and my nerves were tap dancing with the sugar rush.

     So, a week in, and I was ready to get off this addictive treadmill.  I Googled information on Sugar De-toxing.  (There's a lot of it out there.  Clearly, I'm not the only one on the sugar hamster wheel.)

 I followed the advice on the video and:

December 26, 2019 - 104 - “Synchronicity’

     I submitted this story to a website that talks about synchronicity.  They published it about five years ago.  The actual event happened nearly 25 years ago.  

   I was going to post it with a little more explanation, but we're celebrating Christmas today with the kids and grandbaby, Evie.

..and I've got to go put Ella into kitty exile out in Michael's office.  (Because the two grand-dogs are also on their way and Ella does not enjoy other animals of any sort.) 

Happy happy holidays!!

---

Synchronicity Of A Beatles Song Sealed Their Romance

I read lots of coincidence and synchronicity stories but I think today's from Susan Stewart is a bit special.

Susan sent me her experience by email and the first time I read the words it sent a tingle down my spine. For some reason I really connected with the story, see what you think.

"Seventeen years ago I had a painful break-up. I hung onto the relationship, emotionally, long after it was over. I was going through the motions of moving on and dating but couldn't shake this person, even though much of the relationship had been unhappy.

During this time I reconnected with an old flame, Michael, because of the book The Artist's Wayby Julia Cameron, which discusses synchronicity. We started seeing each other occasionally.

He lived in Texas, I in New York City. I had a thousand reasons why he wasn't the one for me: he was older, had kids and so on. But I was always happy when I was with him and cared about him. He said he had never stopped being in love with me. (Though it had been some three years since we first dated).

He proposed soon after we got together again. I was very uncertain: I didn't want to stop seeing him, but wasn't sure about marrying him and didn't want to lead him on. I really didn't know what I should do. I finally asked for guidance from the Universe.

I'm a flight attendant and soon after petitioning the Universe I was dead-heading (traveling as a passenger) early in the morning on a flight from Caracas to Miami and listening to the inflight music. I heard a beautiful version of The Beatles' song I Will by Ben Taylor. It was so happy and sweet. I had taken the book The Artist's Way on the trip with me and was flipping through it. I wrote the lyrics to the song on the back jacket and wrote:'Makes me think of Michael' and a big smiley-face.

When I got to Miami I called Michael at work. He said he was having a tough day because he'd woken up early in the morning and hadn't been able to go back to sleep. I asked what he'd done between waking up and getting ready to go to work. He said he had learned a new song on his guitar.

I said, "Hey, speaking of songs. I just heard an old Beatles' song that made me think of you called 'I Will'."

I asked him if he knew the one I was talking about.

He was quiet for a second, then said, "Call your answering machine in New York."

I thought, "You're kidding me."

"Call your apartment," he said.

December 25, 2019 - 103 - “Memory Triggers’

Food as Memory-trigger

Memory Triggers Are Everywhere

     Maybe it's the holidays, but I'm hyper aware of the things that bring back memories.

Food Memories

    Here you see that good ol'
"Red hot salad" I mentioned at Thanksgiving.  One bite of this jello mold and my brain explodes with a thousand memories.  It just tastes like the holidays to me.

     Things that are specific to an event or era are the most powerful.  I've never eaten this dish at Easter, or the 4th of July, or on a random day in August.  Nope.  It's for Christmas and Thanksgiving feasts only.  

      It reminds me of my mom making it when I was a kid.  She'd usually make two because most years we'd go to one Grandparent's house for lunch, and the other for dinner.  I wouldn't say this is my favorite dish of all time, but because it's so woven into my holiday memories, I grow more fond of it every year.  

Music Memories

     Songs are also major memory triggers.  Some of the best music memories are just like the food; not necessarily my favorite songs of all times.  They’re often songs that were played a lot at a specific time, then rarely played since...so the memories of that period of time are even stronger.

December 24, 2019 - 102 - “Flight Attendant Christmas”

     So it's Christmas Eve.  I got in just before noon today from flying six days in a row.  I had three two-day trips, so I came home every other night during these six days...briefly.  (Just long enough to upset Ella when I started getting my bags ready again the next morning.)

         I was sick earlier in the month and lost some time that I needed to make up somewhere...and this was when I could pick up trips.  At 28 years of seniority I, just now, am starting to hold off holidays.  (Though I was forced into flying New Year's Day...on reserve (aka Flight attendant hell), but that's a whole 'nother story.)

     I had two trips in a row with a very fun flight attendant named Charmaine.  I have never flown with her before.  I don't even remember ever seeing her before.  And that's what it is to be based in Dallas for the last 22 years.  Even though she flies very high time, and even though we're close to the same seniority...I've never met her.  That's how many flight attendants we have at DFW.

     So, never flew together, then:  2 trips in a row.  It turned out to be a godsend.  She's got a very upbeat personality which is what you want when you're flying a long stretch in a row. 

Anyway, here are some tidbits from the last six days to give you a feel for what it's like to crisscross the country around the holidays:

Holiday Highs and Lows 

December 23, 2019 - 101 - “I Believe in Santa Claus”

 

     I’ve had a song stuck in my head for a few days now.  I heard it playing in DFW airport the other day.  

     It’s from a Christmas Album by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers circa 1984.  I actually owned it.  (On cassette tape!)  I must have gotten it around 1989.  If memory serves, I bought it at my local gas station for, like $2.99, with a fill-up.

     It struck a chord with me when I first heard it, and I listened to it for a lot of Christmases.  Most of them were Christmases when I was young and single and lost.  Maybe there's some sort of homey comfort in the music.  Maybe I was nostalgic for a sort of Christmas I'd never actually experienced.  Whatever the reason, I nearly wore the thing out I played it so much.  

     But then there came a point where I no longer had a cassette player, and I never  replaced the cassette with a CD.

      In all of these years I haven't thought much of the album or any of the songs on it.   Then that one song played at the airport and got lodged in my brain.  I finally really listened to it on Pandora yesterday morning when I was getting ready to go to work.   

     I was surprised by how much I still really like it.  It's entertaining and touching and nostalgic...and, well, who doesn't love to listen to Dolly's sweet voice?  I think I need to listen to the rest of the album.  

December 22, 2019 - 100 - "Writer's Award - Helpful Strangers - Hijackings"

   

Yes.  I made myself a certificate. 
Sometimes the best prizes are self-bestowed.
I'm thinking of printing it and hanging it in my office.  

First:  A Celebration!

     100 days ago today,  I wrote 'Our Daily Thread' where I had a psychotic episode and said I would post every stinkin' day.  

     And here we are, 100 days later...and I did exactly that.  (!!!)

     I am incredibly proud of (and not a little bit surprised by) this accomplishment. There have been some pretty challenging days in the past three months, and I have managed to squeeze in time to write.  Not bragging about the quality of each day's post, that's pretty iffy, but I am definitely giving myself an A+ for consistency.  ("Go Susan Go!", said to myself in crazy-talking-to-herself-chick whisper.  (See "Go Susan Go")

    I'm very buoyed by the response.  Thanks very much to my encouraging friends who've kept me going.  (Thank you Michael, thank you, Cynthia, and thank you consistent reader-in-Portugal!  You all rock!)

    Yay!  Here's to making it to 200 posts!

---

    And now to the actual scribbles of the day...

December 21, 2019 - 99 - “Chef Michael”

I’m posting this photo of Michael today for a few reasons:

A) To make sure you know he really is a wonderful husband. I feel I need to emphasize this because in the recent post ‘Fight Club’ I was mad at him for not helping me on a tough day. My anger made me temporarily forget how helpful he typically is.

B) He’s been learning new chef-ing skills lately and I’m always impressed by people trying to learn new stuff.

C) He was making roasted Brussels sprouts.  The  recipe called for olive oil, maple syrup, bacon and a lot of other good stuff.  Here he was tossing the first ingredients together and he shared this important piece of chef-ly advice:

“Stickier the hands, 

the better the dish.”

But the biggest reason I'm sharing this with you is because...

D)  I’m working three flights today, I’m exhausted, and I don't have much time to write a post.
So, once again, I'm trotting out Michael to amuse and entertain you.  It’s a cheap, yet effective trick.

---

"No one is born a great cook.  One learns by doing."

-Julia Child

---

December 20, 2019 - 98 - "Astray in Translation"

     I saw an advertisement for this cool instant-translation device.  You wear it in your ear like an Airpod and it translates the language of the speaker, to your language instantly.  How cool is that?  I can think of a million times in my life that would have really helped me out.

     The advertisement showed a young man meeting a cute young woman and striking up a conversation, though he didn't really speak her language.  (So often the case...even when raised in the same country.)

     One article I read about the gadget talked about couples who've met and gotten married...entirely through these devices.

     Whoa!  That stopped me in my mental tracks.

     The room for error in translation is so enormous.  Michael's been using a phone app to talk with people working on the house this year and the number of translation mishaps is in the thousands.  For instance:  Every time Michael mentions our main contractor, Juan, to other workers, the app translate it as 'Uno'.  'cause it thinks Michael is saying 'One', don't ya know.

     And you can pencil in on the ceilings and walls where you want light fixtures or plugs.  You can act out where a wall will go.   It seems like the fall out of mistakes becomes much more serious when you get into the land of emotions and relationships.

     I imagine every interaction with the Spanish app in Mexico is going to end in someone saying menacingly:  "What did you say about my mother?!"

     

     Michael and I can get knee deep into a misunderstanding just based on a tone or word choice.  Imagine if every single word was apt to be a bit off.

     Then again, maybe, couples who don't speak the same language just do more of what we should all be doing more of:  Going with the flow and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.

     I should probably try that more often.  

---

"The best thing on translation was said by Cervantes: translation is the other side of a tapestry."

-Leonardo Sciascia

---

"The first rule of translation:  make sure you know at least one of the bloody languages!" 

-Faiz Ahmad Faiz

---

      

December 19, 2019 - 97 - "Stealing Candy From the Mail Carrier"

      I ran around yesterday finishing up the last of my Christmas errands.  (That I'm finishing up now is a miracle worthy of writing about, but that's another story.)   One thing I purposely save for the very last minute is buying candy to go with monetary tips for various people who make our lives nice throughout the year. 

     Candy in the house soon equals extra, uh...junk in the trunk.  

     I thought it was safe to buy this because I was leaving for six days in a row starting early this morning.

     The Russel Stovers chocolate sampler box was laying on a table in the living room, ready for our mail carrier.  

       She, by the way is so great.  She'll even smile and swap pleasantries if you're outside when she comes by.  I know they are all on very tight schedules these days, but the earphone-wearing, heads-down mail carriers make me nostalgic for the casual relationships formed around a little bit of chat about the weather from time to time.  

     You get the feeling with many that they would resent interaction even if you were trying to tell them their mail bag was on fire.

---


     I've been on and off the sugar wagon with some regularity lately.  I really do feel better in the long run not having it...but, the lure of the sweet is strong, and I am weak.

     Flash forward to 6:30 last night...

December 18, 2019 - 96 - "Crankier Than Your Christmas Tie Would Indicate"

    I meet hundreds of people every day I go to work.  Some I exchange only the briefest of pleasantries with.  Some will share a surprising amount about their lives with me.  Usually, I get a vibe about people right away.

    Recently, a family came on my flight.  I got almost no 'vibe' about them at all.  

---

     The man was probably in his early 60's.  He wore a dark suit, a white shirt, and a very nice, but very loud, Christmas tie.  The woman was wearing a bright green sweater dress.  She was in her late 50's to early 60's.  Her short hair was carefully styled.  She wore full makeup, and appeared to be ready to attend a party.  Nothing flashy, just slightly dressier heels and purse than I normally see people wear on flights.  (Well, hell, anything beyond pajamas is a bit fancy these days.)  I'm just saying that if I was hosting an office Christmas party and opened the door to this couple...I'd think they were dressed exactly right for the moment.

     Their grown daughter was with them.  She had on a nice, dark pantsuit, with a bright red top, and was in full hair and makeup.  

     They looked like a perfectly nice, perfectly respectable, middle aged, middle-American family. 

---
     

     Our flight was delayed due to a series of mishaps.  First another plane blocked access to our gate. 

     We eventually got a different gate and moved to that.  Then there was a small mechanical problem that had to be addressed.  

     We all thought we were finally ready to leave, when the captain announced that our destination of Chicago had a ground stop.  (This means air traffic controllers decided it's necessary to slow down the flow of inbound aircraft into the airport.)  The captain said the ground stop would be at least 20 minutes.

     The agents working the flight were great.  They rebooked passengers with really tight connections, and kept everyone updated as the situation changed.  The passengers were incredibly nice about it.  Some joking about it.  Mostly shrugs and 'Best laid plans...' sort of comments.  

---

      There was a young man in the military who was traveling out of uniform.  Because of the reroutes one seat opened in first class and they upgraded this man to it.

       About the time the captain made the announcement about the ground stop this man realized he'd left his backpack at the original gate.  Because of the ground stop, the agents knew they had a little time to work with.  They tracked down the bag.  It had been taken to lost and found.  One of the agents ran all the way through the terminal, outside of security, retrieved the lost article, hurried back, and got it back to this passenger just as the captain was going out to get our revised flight plan,

      The young man had gotten really upset by his mistake in losing his bag with his wallet and other valuables in it.  He was so overwhelmed by the situation, and the kindness of these agents that this big old strapping soldier started crying.  When the agent brought his bag and gave it to him he gave her the biggest hug and everyone in the vicinity started clapping and cheering.

    It was a very heartwarming moment.  I was so proud of my coworkers for really going above and beyond to help this man out.  

    And I thought:  

     Ahhhhh...Christmas really brings out the best in everyone!

December 17, 2019 - 95 - "Love Language for Cats"

     Do you remember that book from the 90's, "The 5 Love Languages:  The Secret to Love that Lasts"?  I never read it, but feel like I did.  I had this roommate who was working on converting her current boyfriend into her third husband.  (Ooo...that sounds mean when I write it down.  It just sounded ironic in my head.)

     She went around quoting chapter and verse from this book for months.  The basic premise was that everyone has a primary and secondary 'love language'.  Your love language is the way you prefer to receive love.  


The 5 Categories are:

-Acts of Service
-Receiving Gifts
-Quality Time
-Words of Affirmation, and
-Physical Touch

      People tend to give love in the way they most want to receive love.  If a guy wants to mow your lawn for you, he sees that as showing love, and so will feel loved if someone takes his car into the shop for him, or irons his shirts...stuff like that.  

      His love interest, on the other hand, might just think he likes to work outside.  She  might tell him how much she loves him and how handsome he is...because her love language may be Words of Affirmation.  She may prefer to pay someone to mow the lawn, but want her fellow to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. 

     The point of the book is that we all need to learn to show love in the way that is meaningful for the people in our lives, rather than in the way we most like to receive love.

---

     But I haven't been thinking of this book in terms of the people in my life.  I've been thinking of this in regards to Ella. 

December 16, 2019 - 94 - "I Hear You. Uh...what?"

No Humans, Please

     Some people hate automated phone systems.  Personally,  I'd almost always prefer to talk to a computer.  Yes, phone trees can be frustrating.  Yes, voice recognition doesn't always get it right. 

     But at least they've got an excuse.  It's just a bundle of wires and electricity.  It's a miracle that they can help anyone ever...so I feel really excited when I can get things done in this way.

     My expectations are so much higher with actual humans. 

Service or Mental Torture?

    I have worked phone sales and service jobs, the longest-lasting one was in airline reservations.   So now I tend to compare customer service reps to myself back then.  

     I'm not saying I was a great agent.  It's very true that it was my least favorite job of all time.  There were plenty of agents better at it than me, but the customers who got me on the line did have a couple of things in their favor:  1) the company I worked for provided me with excellent training, and 2)  I did sincerely try to help people. 

      It seems like a lot  most of the individuals in these jobs have not been given the most rudimentary of training to do their jobs.

Active Listening

   The airlines really pounded the idea of Active Listening into our heads.  They wanted us focusing on what the customer was saying, engaging all the senses, jotting down key points, and showing that we'd heard by repeating what the customer said. 

     In that job our computer screens had a notes section at the top.  We were taught to make use of it.  When the person started talking, we focused on hearing what they said,and noting key information.   

      Not only was it what we were supposed to do, not only was it good customer service, but it also made my job easier.  (Fast call-time was everything in that world.)

Interactions went something like this:

Customer:                                                            I wrote:

I need to book a flight to Milwaukee.                   -MKE (city code for Milwaukee)
I need to leave from DFW on the 20th                 -DFW - 20th
And come back on the 27th                                  -27th
Sometime in the afternoon.                                   -return afternoon
How much will that cost?

Me:

Alright, let's see what we can find for you   
and I'll get the price. 
May I ask your name?

Customer:

My name is Juana Flyyt                                        -Flight, Wanna

Me:

Alright, Ms. Flight...I have flights pulled
up on the 20th from DFW to Milwaukee.
Would you prefer the 10 am or the 2 pm?

Customer:

The afternoon                                                       -2 pm

Me:

Okay, leaving on that flight and returning on the,
let's see...4:15 pm, is the afternoon flight on the 27th. 
That would be a round trip fare of $329. 
If this works for you I can hold
it for 24 hours while you think about it, Ms. Flight.
Is that spelled F-L-I-G-H-T?...

---

So, yeah, we were also taught sales techniques like closers (somewhat annoying), but at least we were efficiently getting them the information they asked for.

---

Passive (Bordering on Passive-Aggressive) Listening

With this background I expect a similarly efficient experience when I call someone with a request.

But it doesn't always all-too-rarely happens that way. 

December 15, 2019 - 93 - "God Winks"

     Years ago I read the book "The Artist's Way" and began to notice the number of coincidences in my life.  The book is basically saying that we can take scripture very literally:  "Ask and you shall receive.  Knock and it shall be opened to you..."

     Julia Cameron thinks we're all afraid to find out how true this is.  Because if we ask, and are given what we ask for...the ball's back in our court.  It implies responsibility.  It's the "Watch out what you pray for, you might get it" concept.

     Since reading this idea I have noticed that instances of synchronicity, coincidence, serendipity, God winks...whatever you want to call them, tend to increase under two sets of circumstances:

1-I've prayed for specific guidance., and 
2-I'm working hard at something I feel I'm meant to do.

     I haven't asked for anything specific lately, but since getting back to writing regularly my episodes of synchronicity have gone up exponentially.

     My lucky numbers are 013 and I see them all day every day in the funniest, most clever ways.  The time of day, on my catering papers, I got assigned seat 13D on my deadhead flight this morning, billboards on the highway, I got a notification yesterday that flashed on my phone and said:  "13 is your lucky number!!!"

     But the other day one of these funny little things really cracked me up by it's sheer unlikely randomness:

December 14, 2019 - 92 - "Song Re-Writing"

     I am fascinated by song lyrics.  I'm extra fascinated by the ones that seem like they've just always been.  Like no one wrote them...they just exist.

     Some examples for me are:  "Amazing Grace", "We Shall Overcome",  and "The Night They Drove Ol' Dixie Down".  

      Especially the last one.  I think of that one and can't imagine that it didn't exist until the late '60's?  It seems like a folk song that surely has been sung for generations.

     I saw the lyrics to The Beatles "In My Life" at The British Library in London, and the lyrics to "Whiter Shade of Pale" at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  

      Seeing the lyrics to famous and well-loved songs scribbled out on a random beverage napkins or scraps of paper amazes me.  

     I'm especially intrigued by words and lines that are marked out and rewritten.  The songs are so familiar and established that it's hard to imagine them being any other way.  

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     Michael and I have discussed, repeatedly and at length, how songs might have been written differently.   Most of our re-writes are for comic effect.

December 13, 2019 - 91 - "Fight Club"

View over our house last night

Delusions

     Even after 24 years with Michael I still get surprised we fight.  

     "How'd we get here?", I'll think as we are falling off that metaphoric cliff.  Leaving our happy and harmonious home to plummet into the deep pit of despair and discord.   

     The longer we're together the sooner I see the change of terrain.  Not that it helps that much...once I'm falling there's usually a well of  anger that rises up and my brain is completely bypassed for a time.

Elements of a Battle

Our arguments usually boil down to a predictable set of circumstances:  

   1-Being tired

   2-Communicating badly

   3-Not Adjusting to Change-Something has changed in our lives and we haven't identified the problems the change will cause and figured out how to deal with them.

   4-Martyrdom - One or both of us is feeling put-upon.  

         Correction:  I'm going to say it's always both of us.  It may start as just one of us sharing our feelings that something isn't arranged fairly, but then the sub-battle is on for who is the most hard-done-by.  I'm not proud of this, but the truth is the title of Biggest Martyr becomes a prized trophy when we get into a fight. 

Current Squabble

December 12, 2019 - 90 - "The Blog About Nothing"

From:  Seinfeld  Episode:  "The Pitch

     The TV show, Seinfeld, became known as 'a show about nothing'.  It was about a guy, basically being himself, and the cast of characters in his life.  

     It was a series of episodes about "the minutiae of daily life.", according to Wikipedia.  (Which I recently donated to 'cause, yeah, I use it a lot and I can't stand the guilt.)

     There was even an episode spoofing the fact that they were referred to this way.  Jerry and George are at the diner and they have this conversation about creating a show for NBC:

GEORGE: So, what's happening with the TV show? You come up with anything?

JERRY: No, nothing.

GEORGE: Why don't they have salsa on the table?

JERRY: What do you need salsa for?

GEORGE: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.

JERRY: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do
you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where is the salsa? No salsa?"

GEORGE: You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order
seltzer and not get salsa. (Angry) "I wanted seltzer, not salsa."

JERRY: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?? You
have the seltzer after the salsa!"

GEORGE: See, this should be a show. This is the show.

JERRY: What?

GEORGE: This. Just talking.

JERRY: (dismissing) Yeah, right.

GEORGE: I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea.

JERRY: Just talking? Well what's the show about?

GEORGE: It's about nothing.

December 11, 2019 - 89 - “Toothpaste Wars”

     Day before yesterday I went to brush my teeth.  I opened the top drawer in our bathroom and spied a fresh new tube of toothpaste.

     I let out a triumphant:  "Ha HA!", then said (to myself):  “Victory is sweeeeet!”

      I grabbed the toothpaste and with arms outstretched bore that tube of Sensodyne above my head, as I dramatically high-knee marched into the kitchen-all while singing the Olympic anthem at the top of my lungs.

---

Me:   “Duhhh duh da duh da duh duh da dadaduh duhda da da duh da duhhhh...!!!!!”

Michael:  Quit bragging.

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December 10, 2019 - 88 - "Christmas Card List Management"

     Ahhhh...Christmas cards.

      Love 'em?  Hate 'em?  Think they're a thing of the past? 

     Personally, I love them:  I love the family updates.  I love the pictures.  I love them arriving in the mail; a fun surprise amidst the bills and flyers.  I love their numbers starting to build across the mantel.  At first just one from a local museum or a friend's business...then a couple of early-bird friends...then an onslaught of family update letters.

     My very favorite are the right-at-Christmas, and even well-past-Christmas stragglers.   (Maybe I have a soft spot for these because we've so often been on this schedule.) 

     But, really, I always feel like I savor those best.  The others I take a cursory glance at and don't really sit down to look through and enjoy them until after the holiday hubbub is over.  When we start dismantling (dis-mantel-ing?) the mantel, I'll usually get a cup of tea and sit on the couch under a blanket mulling over a pile of updates from friends near and far.  

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     The biggest struggle for me has always been keeping the list of recipients up to day.  Every year I try to perfect my address list-keeping system.  At this point I have a Word document where I keep 'The List'.  

     I try to keep it minimal.  Mostly people who are actually in our lives.  Though there are certain folks who we just like so much that we don't have the heart to take them off.  Though we may truly never see them again we somehow feel a kinship and like to keep up this tenuous bond.  

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     We send out cards based on our best-effort, most up to the minute information, but inevitably at least a couple are returned as undeliverable.  'Oh yeah.  We'd heard he moved to Santa Fe.', we'll say.  Or we'll get a card from a family whose return address is different from the one we had from last year.  

     I carefully put new addresses in with the list-we-now-know-is-all-wrong, and after the holidays  carefully update all the information we've culled through the season, I'll print out a new copy and put it in a little bin with leftover cards and stamps and Christmas return labels...in the hopes that next year it will all be simple.  

December 9, 2019 - 87 - "Insecure in Cleveland"

This image is meant to convey the idea of Randomness.  (I don't mean
to insult your intelligence with an explanation, but I don't think I would
have gotten the reference myself.) . 

Random Notes Preamble  

     I'm considering renaming my blog.  

   How 'bout:

    'Notes From The Mucous Factory' ?  

     Catchy, no?

    Most of my cold symptoms are gone...but still a lot of nose blowing.  

     (Thought I'd share.  ...you're welcome.)

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     This is the post I should have published last night...but somehow short tidbits were eluding me.  It's the...

     "If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter."

      ...syndrome.  (I think I've used this quote before.  Just now when I was looking for it I found a whole blog discussing who the hell said it.  Don't know who I attributed to before...but no idea who actually said it.  The list of possibilities was long.)

The Actual, Though Short, But Still Random,...Post:

Texting with Michael:

Ha ha ha / Yikes!

Me:  I guess I got nervous, and maybe just a little insecure.

Michael:  Why?

Me:  'cause, earlier, I 'Morning baby'd' you, and you didn't 'Morning baby' me back.