"Every chain has a link.
Every link is a life. Break the
chain-lose a life. Send this to 5 people or death will come for
you. You have 24 hours."
The first time I remember getting a chain letter was in Ms. Woods' 7th Grade homeroom. Wow. Death threats are pretty heavy crap to be loading on a twelve year old.
...and it came from a 'friend'.
I didn't exactly believe that anything would happen to me, but who wants to risk it? So I passed it on to other people's desks.
By the second time I got one I couldn't bring myself to do it. Chain letters were flying around junior high like a fast-spreading stomach flu. Rewriting all those letters was a hassle...not to mention that the idea of cursing people to an early grave seemed fairly hostile.
Even as a really immature and naive 12 year old, I could figure out that this was a dumb idea. From then on I decided to take the gamble and not pass them on.
The weird thing is that, all these years later, chain letters still exist. They've moved from notes passed in homeroom, to email, to text, then to Facebook. They are only slightly more subtle, and they're sent by people well over 12 years old.
They still give me major trust issues. Someone sends you an unsolicited letter, with some crazy story, and says if you don't forward it....TERRIBLE things will happen to you?
Sometimes the letters start out talking about a cause, or an idea, I agree with. I might even be considering reposting until I get to the threat at the end: "Repost or you will never meet your soul mate, someone close to you will be hurt, you won't win a lot of money, you will have a terrible accident..."
The ones that bug me the most are the ones that say "Most people won't post this because they're embarrassed to stand up for (such and such cause, belief, country, etc.)" or they're "afraid to repost" or "Share if you hate cancer."... They go on to say only patriotic people will repost, or you will post if you care about the elderly, malnourished puppies, or the sick...
So, they're telling you what to post on your own wall, then telling you what a terrible person you are if you don't go along with it?
And how, exactly, does sending around depressing messages help anyone? If it's a cause you care about, why not send money, or volunteer?
Luckily, I've gotten pretty quick at spotting the components of chain letters:
-They tend to use a lot of capitalization.
"IMPORTANT!!!! YOU REALLY MUST DO THIS!!! CUT AND PASTE THIS AND SEND IT TO 10 PEOPLE AND NOTHING WILL HAPPEN!!! IT WORKS!!! I HAVE DONE IT TWICE AND BOTH TIMES NOTHING HAS HAPPENED!!!"
-They promise really random things (frequently, things that are inappropriate to your life):
"You will be kissed at midnight by your crush! If you repost two big things will be fixed in your life! You will get pregnant! Your hair will grow back! Make a wish - then forward to 10 people and your wish will come true!"
-They use bizarre scare tactics, including totally random details that seem like they've been translated by a computer from Hindi to Mandarin and then to English:
"Disposable wooden chopsticks are fill with carcinogens. Get splinter. You will swell to the size of tractor, emit the odor like deli salami, and too grow fingernails the length of Armenian cucumbers."
-Then they come up with some unrealistic, but oddly worrisome, threats:
"Repost or 27 kittens will get hit by a truck within an hour. Something terrible will happen to your mother. You will contract (fill in the horrible disease.) You will have a terrible Christmas season."
The first time I remember getting a chain letter was in Ms. Woods' 7th Grade homeroom. Wow. Death threats are pretty heavy crap to be loading on a twelve year old.
...and it came from a 'friend'.
I didn't exactly believe that anything would happen to me, but who wants to risk it? So I passed it on to other people's desks.
By the second time I got one I couldn't bring myself to do it. Chain letters were flying around junior high like a fast-spreading stomach flu. Rewriting all those letters was a hassle...not to mention that the idea of cursing people to an early grave seemed fairly hostile.
Even as a really immature and naive 12 year old, I could figure out that this was a dumb idea. From then on I decided to take the gamble and not pass them on.
The weird thing is that, all these years later, chain letters still exist. They've moved from notes passed in homeroom, to email, to text, then to Facebook. They are only slightly more subtle, and they're sent by people well over 12 years old.
They still give me major trust issues. Someone sends you an unsolicited letter, with some crazy story, and says if you don't forward it....TERRIBLE things will happen to you?
Sometimes the letters start out talking about a cause, or an idea, I agree with. I might even be considering reposting until I get to the threat at the end: "Repost or you will never meet your soul mate, someone close to you will be hurt, you won't win a lot of money, you will have a terrible accident..."
So, they're telling you what to post on your own wall, then telling you what a terrible person you are if you don't go along with it?
And how, exactly, does sending around depressing messages help anyone? If it's a cause you care about, why not send money, or volunteer?
Luckily, I've gotten pretty quick at spotting the components of chain letters:
-They tend to use a lot of capitalization.
"IMPORTANT!!!! YOU REALLY MUST DO THIS!!! CUT AND PASTE THIS AND SEND IT TO 10 PEOPLE AND NOTHING WILL HAPPEN!!! IT WORKS!!! I HAVE DONE IT TWICE AND BOTH TIMES NOTHING HAS HAPPENED!!!"
-They promise really random things (frequently, things that are inappropriate to your life):
"You will be kissed at midnight by your crush! If you repost two big things will be fixed in your life! You will get pregnant! Your hair will grow back! Make a wish - then forward to 10 people and your wish will come true!"
-They use bizarre scare tactics, including totally random details that seem like they've been translated by a computer from Hindi to Mandarin and then to English:
"Disposable wooden chopsticks are fill with carcinogens. Get splinter. You will swell to the size of tractor, emit the odor like deli salami, and too grow fingernails the length of Armenian cucumbers."
-Then they come up with some unrealistic, but oddly worrisome, threats:
"Repost or 27 kittens will get hit by a truck within an hour. Something terrible will happen to your mother. You will contract (fill in the horrible disease.) You will have a terrible Christmas season."
What would compel people to send out emails building your sympathy for a cause or situation, only to inform you of your impending doom if you delete the message? What do they get out of this?
I remember snail mail letters that said to send a dollar to ten people on a list. Supposedly, eventually, you'd have all sorts of people sending you money. It still made no sense when you thought about it...but I could see a motivation.
I remember snail mail letters that said to send a dollar to ten people on a list. Supposedly, eventually, you'd have all sorts of people sending you money. It still made no sense when you thought about it...but I could see a motivation.
Luckily, so far, breaking all these chains hasn't resulted in me being dead. They haven't even effected my health.
...though, I suppose there's a chance I have unwittingly left a trail of natural disasters, endangered kittens, hurt relatives, and unwon lotteries behind me.
...though, I suppose there's a chance I have unwittingly left a trail of natural disasters, endangered kittens, hurt relatives, and unwon lotteries behind me.
You Spiritual Guru. I learn many things good. I not keep sending chain emails like these. If I die it be your fault. My mother already dead so no worries there.
ReplyDeleteDid you have a walrus translate this from your native Swahili, Rebecca?
ReplyDeleteI apologize, in advance, if you become the first 'not reposting chain mail' fatality. I will miss your humor when you're gone...but not the chain mail.
Thanks for reading my blog! Your comment is an awesome 'six months of deadlines' anniversary gift. (Though, really, I believe emeralds were the correct gift for the occassion.)
Re: Spiritual Guru...what csn I say? Being Deep is my gift. I'm here for you Grasshopper.
Peace out,
SuZen