How I Became a Hermit Without Really Trying

Traditional Hermit Image-I'm probably
better off without the beard.

Hermits are people too!

Yep, that's what I said:  Hermits are people too!  

Well, 'cept hermit crabs...they are not people.  They are crabs.  And while it's true that the human variety of hermits can be crabby, I'm not sure if hermit crabs can be people-ly.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about.  

What did I want to talk about?

....oh yeah!:

Yo Ho Hee...The Hermit's Life For Me!

A few years ago I started down a path to hermitdom.


Wait, sorry.  I've got to stop again before I get into my main point.

I wrote hermitdom, and auto-correct saw fit to underline it in red so maybe that's not a word.

Hermitness?  Hermititude?  Sheesh!  I can't be tied down by all these boring rules about what's actually a word and what's not. 

Anyway, no matter how you spell it, the truth is:

My Life's Dream Is To Be A Hermit

Truthfully, the dream was not ta new one.  It's just that it took me a long time to really embrace it as a perfectly worthy goal.  (I used to feel pretty bad about this dream of mine.)

When you decide you hate everyone and only want to be left alone, well, it's the sort of thing that will offend your friends.  Though I eventuallyt learned that the better the friend, the less they tended to get offended.

A good friend gets it.  A good friend knows if you are an introvert and easily get overwhelmed by the level of interaction your life requires.  They also realize that...

Hermit's Aren't All Haters

Just me.  I am a hater.  LOL  Okay, sometimes, but not always.  Not in any overall kind of way.  

The dictionary defines hermit as "a person living in solitude as a religious discipline".

But that's not the form my hermitliness takes. I'm all-in on the solitude part, but the religion angle isn't really my thing.

   Note:  I don't know if you read my post about my 10 day meditation retreat, but suffice to say:  religious-y introspection may not be the healthiest life path for me, (It's not healthy for the wake-up gong ringer at Vipassana retreats either.)  I'll put a link below if you'd like to learn about the dark and homicidal side of spirituality.  

I think what the reclusive life symbolizes to me lately is mainly:  rest.

Rest.  Rest.  Rest.  Aaaahhhhhhh....the sweet relaxation of my own company!  It's funny, as much as everyone talks about the value of healthy self esteem, no one seems to want you to admit that you actually value your own company.  (Certainly not in those times when you value it more than others.)

The truth is, most of the time, I find me to be the very best company I know.  There's just a whole lot of goodness in being with someone who gets you.  And, I get me.  I don't have to explain me to me.  I get all my jokes, I never invite myself to things I hate; baby showers, violent movies, or political debates.  I never tell myself I should be less sensitive, and more social.  I always like my outfit.  I don't feed me foods I don't enjoy...  It's just good times all around.

Out there...among...people, there's all this, uh, I don't know, feels a little like judgment, but that's not it exactly.  It's just bumping up against others, and coping and interacting and accommodating, and the conversation about stuff I don't care about, or do care about...but not in the way someone else does, or do care about...but don't want to talk about it for 40 days and 40 nights.

And then there's all those opinions to deal with.

I'm tired just thinking about it.  People have soooo many opinions about what everyone should think, do, say, wear, eat, buy, ...on and on an on and on and on...  I barely have time to develop opinions about what I want...my only opinion about what others want are that they should want to plan my life less then they seem inclined to do.

Oh wait.  Just thought of a non-hermit night recently where I was doing exactly what I just said I hate.  Lesson learned (again)...no one really needs other's opinions.

I heard this cool quote recently, which I can't find, and had to stop looking for before I forgot my blog and wound up looking at videos of cats miscalculating their  jumps.  (Again.)  It went something like this:

"We are each designed to be a complete mystery to everyone else on the planet."

I Gotta Be Me!  I Gotta Be Me! 

So, regarding my newfound hermitasticness I've decided to just embrace it.

The cool thing about the hermit life, and why it holds such an appeal for me is:  Hermits can do what they want!

Who's gonna argue with them?

I could be a rebel in society, but it takes a lot more work.  So maybe I'm just psychologically removing myself from the game.

The Avoidance-Inducing Power of Social Media

The sad truth is there's a chance that my desire to take a break from all of those judgments was a reaction to the over-connection of social media.

My inner-self just said:  Duh!  Ya think? 
(My inner self can be kind of bitchy and sarcastic sometimes.)

It's probably confusing to my friends, since I wrote so many posts about my love of and devotion to Facebook, how much I've come to dislike it.  But those posts were from  the early days when I'd post something funny, and people would say something funny back.  I call that positive interaction.

Later it devolved into me posting something funny (imho, natch)...and that small comment getting discussed, dissected, and (here's the worst part):  not being responded to with something funny being posted back.

So I'm like:  What's in it for me?  Big ol' wheelbarrows of negativity dumped on my fun?  No thanks. 

I'm sure that old saying about assholes and opinions was around long before Facebook, but Facebook seems to exist to illustrate the point.

What You'll Gain By Becoming a Hermit

I kept thinking of the more negative aspects of being a hermit until I googled 'hermit image' and a lot of pictures of tarot cards came up.

They had the most beautiful images on 'The Hermit' card.  There were all sorts of styles in different decks but they had similarities.  They all depicted someone in long robes standing on top of mountains holding a light that shone out into the darkness.

Pretty mountaintops?  A light in the darkness?  Cool!

And those robes looked pretty darn comfy.  Maybe I could pursue a really hermitalicious existence!

The symbolism behind The Hermit is a double-edged sword:  On the upside: The Hermit symbolizes "soul-searching, introspection, and inner guidance."  The downside:   isolation, loneliness, and withdrawal."

According to the interwebs "The card suggests that you are in a phase of introspection where you are drawing your attention and focus inward and looking for answers within.  You are engaging in a period of soul searching."

"You have a strong need to understand, not just at the surface level but to really know why life is the way it is. The Hermit reflects that your consciousness has moved inward and you now realise that the truth and understanding you seek is within yourself and not in the distractions of the outside world. This is a perfect time to take a step back from your day-to-day life and deeply contemplate your motivations, personal principles and values."

1. • So, that's all pretty groovy.  Maybe I don't hate everyone.  

I have no particular interest in Tarot cards, but I liked the image of The Hermit, and the interpretation readers take of it, as more of an archetype.

Maybe it's just the natural ebb and flow of life.  As much as I once enjoyed the interaction and sharing and conversations on Facebook, I just naturally moved to the opposite end of the spectrum. 

Maybe it's not that I can no longer appreciate the opinions of others, but just want to "honour the wisdom within myself."  "You must find your own light, shine it on your soul and create your own special path". 

The Path to Solitude

So, if this life sounds appealing to you I can tell you 'How I Did It'.  Here is the brilliant nugget of wisdom I have gleaned from my hermit life.:

     How to Become a Hermit in One Easy Step:

       Here's my cleverly bullet-pointed list...

                         1.  Get off of Facebook.  

Boom!  You are now detached from modern society.

Seriously, you'll leave all sorts of crazy-making commentary about your life, likes, and livelihood in the rearview mirror!

I thought I'd miss it, but nope.  I liked it.

I began to hear the news only when I actually seek it out.  (Hint:  For fullest enjoyment of your new hermit life...seek it out as little as you possibly, possibly can.) . You'll thank me for this later.

And then start hanging out with your wonderful, judiciously selected friends and family, and enjoy your own company and your own  hilarious thoughts on your own schedule the rest of the time.  Try it!

Hermitdom for the Modern Guy or Gal

These days I'm thinking I'm more of a modified, modern-day Hermit.  

In real life I thoroughly enjoy hanging with my husband, Michael.  We have a lot of beautiful people that we call our friends and family, that I actually enjoy seeing regularly, and my job brings me into contact with an average of about 300 people per day.  So I'm actually lucky that people are a part of my everyday life.  

Maybe it's just a fact that there's not time to interact with hundreds more individuals via the internet.  

Now I'm wondering if maybe I can post this fairly one-way conversation on my blog.  Then I can say something I think is funny, or interesting, and just use my imagination to think that someone out there is chuckling just a little because of it.

-----

Post about my meditation retreat:
https://deepthoughtsonserioussubjects.blogspot.com/search?q=meditation#.XRJZI5NKhdh