Gotta Dance!

       I've been in the airline industry for 25 years.  During most of those years there has been one thing or another to threaten my job security.  It's a business affected by the economy, world events, the mood of the traveling public, corporate maneuverings, political maneuverings, the cost of fuel, and how naked the TSA makes you get to be allowed to go see Grandma.  So, I'm a big believer in having a Back-Up Plan.

         That's why I've been working on my dance resume!

         People who know me might find this latest income-generating brainstorm surprising.  They might say something negative like:  "But, you can't dance."

         This just shows how deeply mysterious and unknowable I am.  With the following resume, I am confident  I could get into any dance troupe in the world:

Suki St. Suzanne

(A cool dancer-name is crucial:  the unique first name and the Frenchness of The 'St. Suzanne' part really give me a certain cache', no?)

Performance Skills/Fact Sheet-

• Availability - I am ready to dance right this second and will keep dancing until you beg, uh, need me to stop.
• Height - 5' 8"
• Weight - A hundred and *cough!* cough!*, excuse me, what were we talking about?
• Hair  -  Hmmm...well, it's actually brown, or uh, originally brown, but it's sometimes red, and sometimes I let my striking grey roots take center stage.
• Eyes - Hazel (Take that Texas Department of Motor Vehicles)
• Voice - I have a range from middle C to a middle F sharp...if I'm warmed up, and I have someone to drown me out, I mean, someone to follow.
• Interests - Musicals, commercials, singing telegrams, classical dance, modern dance, flash mobs.
• Instruments Played Well - Kazoo

Special Skills-

• Master of the Chicken Dance
• An uncanny impersonation of Pee Wee Herman performing his "Tequila!" Dance
• Can do The Electric Slide  (If I see it done through a couple of times to remind me, and if I don't attempt any improvised moves whatsoever.)
• The Macarena - I especially excel at this when I am at a resort and the bartender is pouring liberally.
• Excel at Free Form Expressionistic Dancing - In other words:  I am unable to do any standard dances such as the foxtrot, waltz, or cha cha.  I refuse to be tied down by too many rules, people! 
• Peanuts Christmas Special Dance Number-Can do all characters except Snoopy.  (His feet move too fast.)
• Musicals/Flash Mobs  - I have not had an official role in either of these activities, but am a big fan and feel I'd be very good at it.
• The Hokey Pokey is, really, what I'm all about.

Note:  The secret to my dance success really lies in my Distracting Expression.
I can perform any dance and no one will ever know if I am good or not. 

They will only see the crazed expression on my face.

I use the same expression whether doing an Interpretive Modern Dance of Loss and Mourning, or performing an upbeat, high-budget, Bollywood number.

It's a sort of open-mouthed cross between a "Look Ma!  I'm dancing!" and a "Be Careful!  I could put someone's eye out!" expression.   

Selected Credits-

• 2nd Grade Play - Ballerina
• 3rd Grade Play - Butterfly

Education/Training -

• MFA-Masters in Flailing Avidly from TSOHK.  (The School of Hard Knocks.)
• Jazz - Excellent at jazz-hands!!  (Proficiency at jazz-rest-of-the-body has, so far, eluded me.)
• Hoop dancing  - I own an actual hula-hoop, and have discussed forming a neighborhood hoop-dancing organization with a group of my favorite neighbors.  (The soon-to-be widely-respected 'Dance Company of Hawthorne Ave.')
• Ballet - See above re:  2nd grade play.  I don't like to brag...but I wore my pink crepe paper tutu with real style.  Also, I look good with my hair in a bun.
• Tap - I bought tap shoes and took upwards of 4 lessons!  Have watched extensive footage of the Shim-Sham-Shimmy being performed.  Though my heart was truly in my studies, I could not see myself going far in this genre, as it is hard. 

Recommendations -

• Available on Request.  (Give me time to locate my elementary school teachers, please.)

Strengths -

• My real talent is in Team Building.  I can get others to dance.  Anyone lurking on the edges of a dance floor watching me cut a rug,  will tend to think:  "My goodness, I can certainly do better than that!"
• You will not regret hiring me.  I can entertain a crowd, as well as motivate your dance company to excellence.  What I will bring to the table is boundless enthusiasm, and an amazing ability to show other dancer's talents off.

Thank you for considering me to perform with your troupe and/or at your event.   I look forward to the challenge.