Maybe this is what drew us to each other?
You'd think we're both booked for a gig at some comedy club the way we're always furiously looking for something amusing to discuss.
This is strange since neither of us have much enjoyed stage time in our lives. As for me, I'd have to rule out anything that involves a loud and crowded room.
But I digress from the subject at hand: pants.
I think this line of thinking was brought on by the fact that Michael retired from corporate life a year and a half ago...and has barely had a day off since.
He's looking forward to the end of our latest crazy scheme. (The renovation of the house in Mexico.) And finally thinking of having some lazy days.
---
That's my guess about why on New Year's Day he informed me he would no longer be wearing pants....
Michael: I'm not wearing pants today.
Me: Oh, okay. Cool.
Michael: I may not ever wear pants again.
Me: That's a worthy goal. Good on you, babe.
Michael: I mean it.
Me: Alright. I guess I'll be wearing the pants around here from now on. But, ya know, it's been kind of cold outside lately, and there are a couple more months of winter to go.
Michael: (Seeming to have just considered this.) Well...maybe I'll wear some pajama pants!
Me: Great idea. It's a good thing you finally got some. Can I ask what's led you to this decision?
Michael: I just realize that I've been conditioned by society to wear pants. Pants are very constricting. You have to choose which ones to wear too. In the summer you have to choose between short or long pants. It's a lot of time thinking about something so unimportant.
Me: I see what you mean.
Michael: I just don't want to let society tell me what to do. So my New Year's resolution is: No Pants All Year!
Me: Wow! Impressive.
Michael: Yes it is. It won't be easy...but I'm determined.
Me: Well, I'll try to support you. I guess your pants won't be doing that job anymore. Luckily you don't need pants to go to the kitchen and get me coffee.
Michael wandered off to get me coffee. And it turned out he was able to easily bring me coffee, even though he wore no pants.
So far his resolution was going great.
---
By 10:58 a.m. he'd reconsidered his resolution.
Michael: Maybe I need pants.
Me: What's made you decide this?
Michael: Well, I want to go out, and I don't want to get arrested or anything. Plus...it'll be chilly without them. Even though they are the handcuffs of society, maybe I should wear them just when I go out.
Me: I think you're a smarty pants for making this choice. When you think of it: pants set you free. A good pair of pants will take you anywhere. Think of them less as 'handcuffs of society' and more as your Freedom Pants. Or if you're feeling showy you could wear some Fancy Pants.
---
And that was the end of that resolution.
He's worn pants every day of 2020 so far.
It makes sense for him. Michael's an extrovert. He actually likes to leave the house. He gets cabin fever pretty quickly. Half a day in the house and he's got ants in his pants to get outside.
This just wasn't a good resolution for him.
In my world I could get away with not wearing pants for days on end. I'd say up to a week easily. I'd beat the pants off of Michael if this were competition.
Wearing pajamas or a housecoat around the house is no social hazard at all. Ella wouldn't complain. Michael actually would prefer it as he regularly asks me why I'm getting dressed.
Resolving not to wear pants for me sounds like resolving to breathe daily in 2020. It's important to consider our own personalities and tendencies when choosing goals.
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| No Pants Subway Ride |
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