January 27, 2020 - 136 - "Mrrwkksijfkd, jfl lld kizee ll.d;??? ???"

   I was in a dead sleep when my phone went off at 1:18 this morning.

     It was a notification from crew scheduling (fondly known as 'screw sched.', in the airline biz).

     The messages are all in airline-ese.  I'll give you a vague translation:

     

ALERT!!!:  Activity has been added and removed from your schedule.  Please contact Crew Scheduling to confirm.  

(Note:  They capitalize 'Crew Scheduling', like they're referring to a deity...which is telling.)

      I'm thinking (if you can call it that):  Huh?  Added and removed?  If it's removed...why didn't I see they added something earlier.  Did I miss a text?

      Then another came in:

ALERT!!!:  Reminder:  DFW flt xxxx/27JAN DFW-ONT departs at 10:40 pm. 

No change to sign in.

       Uh...what?  I'm only good for Monday...how can they give me a sign in at 10:40 tonight?  Or if it's last night...did I miss it?

   Then another:

ALERT!!!:  Reminder:  Your sign in is at 5:00 am!!  Contact crew schedule to confirm.

     ???  I know I'm about as alert as Ella snoozing at the end of the bed at this point...but, seriously, none of this makes any sense.

     About that time the phone rings.  The caller ID is:  "It's All Good-You're right on schedule."  (My attempt at being zen and chill about getting weird middle-of-the-night marching orders to leave my warm bed and fly off to some random place.  (btw...this is not working.)

 The Crew scheduler says cheerily:  Good Morning flight attendant Stewart!!! 

I mumble:  "uh...good morning." (nearly choking on the lie)

Crew scheduler:  "I've got a little trip for you!"  (Weird and wrong for a couple (okay, many) reasons:  a) he says it like I just won a new Range Rover, and b) crew schedule uses the term a 'little' trip even if it's a week-long, multi-leg-per day trip covering everywhere from Taipei to Timbuktu.)

Me:  (Managing to get a pen and paper and attempting to remember how these items work)  "Okay." (Praying the trip is not too hideous,)

Crew schedule:  You're leaving on a 6 am flight to Ontario (California), and deadheading (flying as a passenger) back to base.  You'll get back at 4:47 pm.

Me:  Oh.  Okay.  Uh...5 a.m. sign in?

Crew scheduler:  "Yes.  Have a great day!?

Me:  "Thanks you too.", I mumble.  ("And enjoy those meds!", I think, but don't say out loud.)

     I throw my bags and myself together (in the dark...again.  Trying, once again, not to wake Michael).  Luckily all the pieces of clothing I put on were right-side out today, which proves that I can put on my uniform in the dark...while still practically asleep.

     I, eventually, learn the flight I'm working, was supposed to leave at 10:40 last night...which accounted for the weird messages.  It also explained all of the (rightfully) disgruntled passengers. 

     Luckily, by the time they got to me, they'd pretty much lost their will to live.  They were not even rebelling against their fates anymore.  The 'acceptance' phase of the grief process had kicked in and they were just grateful to be getting on a plane.  My 'Hello./I'm sorry.' greetings were a bonus at that point and they seemed grateful that I was nice to them.  Also, they were all so exhausted from their travel odyssey that they mainly just passed out.  

     In the end it was a pretty easy way to finish up my reserve month. 

     I slept-walk through most of it.  I was pretty much done for the day by the time I was waking up.  This good.  The day was survivable, so I won't have to ask the scheduler where he gets his drugs.  

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"Morning is wonderful.  It's only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day."

-Glen Cook

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"Stop saying good morning to me when it's not even close to morning!"

-Susan Stewart

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"Heigh-ho.  Heigh-ho.  It's off to work I go."

-Seven Dwarfs (and the 8th one today:  Cranky...aka: me)

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