October 8, 2019 - 25 - “Two Left Feet"

     Years ago Michael bought a pair of Margaritaville flip flops, not knowing how much entertainment- value they contained.

     In the beginning it was just the  small references about stepping on pop-tops.  The discussions of how these extra-nice flip flops were blow-out resistant.  That sort of thing. 

     But their quality sold Michael on them.  He found them to be extremely comfortable and durable.  When he realized he'd left his beloved flip flops in San Miguel, he missed them so much that he bought another pair to keep North of the Border.

     The next time we went to Mexico, forgetting he had a pair there, he threw in the newer pair.

     So then he had two pairs of  'South of the Border' sandals...and none for back in Texas.  First world problem, for sure, but this is where the story gets good...



---
    Around this time we went on a big trip to Morocco.  In Fez we decided to  get massages.  When we were about to go down for our appointment Michael starts to put on his flip flops and realizes he brought back two left-feet flip flops from Mexico.  Since you really want shoes that are easy to slip off, Michael decided to deal with the slight discomfort and put on the two left shoes to go downstairs for the massage. 

     Turns out the place to get a massage wasn't actually in the hotel, but instead was a few doors down.  So, Michael awkwardly hobbles through the streets of Fez, hoping no one will look down at his feet.

    I helped him feel better by saying things like:  No one's looking at you.  That man barely laughed when he saw your feet.   I'm sure that woman we just passed suddenly thought of something funny her kids told her at breakfast.  Don't worry.  Moroccan people are very kind.  It probably won't make the news or anything...

      I'm nothing, if not supportive.

     So we get our massages and Michael said that after the massage he was sitting on the edge of the massage table feeling all relaxed.  The massage therapist helpfully reaches over to get his shoes for him and sets them down in front of him.

     She put them down and looks quizzically at them.  Then switches the two shoes around.  Then looks up at Michael with a truly confused look on her face. 

     I'm guessing she was thinking:  Crazy foreigners! 

     So, happily, we now get to laugh about how Michael represents Americans to the world.  About his two left feet.  I can call him Eugene, after Eugene Levy's character in the  movie "Best in Show".  

     The character says he can't dance because he has two left feet.  His wife in the movie, Catherine O'Hara, says "I thought he was kidding."
The camera pans down to his feet.  And, yeah, he actually has two left feet.

---

     As you can imagine, the next time we went to Mexico, Michael was highly motivated to get his flip flop situation sorted out.

---

 When we get back home we had this conversation...

     Michael:  Well, I unpacked my bags.

     Me (wondering why he's telling me this, then remembering the significance.):  Oh, yeah, how was the reunion of the flip flops?  Were they happy to be reunited with their long-lost mates?

     Michael:  No.

     Me:  Huh?

     Michael:   I kind of messed up.

     Me:  What do you mean?

     Michael:   Now I have two right feet in Texas.

---

"Clothes make the man."

-Shakespeare and Mark Twain  

(Both said it in slightly different ways)

 ---

"I firmly believe that with the right footwear one can rule the world."
-Bette Midler

---

"A shoe is not only a design, but it's a part of your body language, the way you walk.  The way you're going to move is quite dictated by your shoes."

-Christian Louboutin

---

"I blew out my flip flop

Stepped on a pop top

Cut my heel had to cruise on back home

But there's booze in the blender

And soon it will render

That frozen concoction that helps me hang on
Wastin' away again in Margaritaville..."
     -lyrics to "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet