Focusing on Fun
I read somewhere that everything we think we want is because we believe we'll feel better once we get it. Whether it's a car, or to fit into our jeans, or for someone to call us... It's all so we'll feel better.
We know that things outside of our own little noggins don't make us all that happy. At least not for very long.
We've seen that with lottery winners, successful athletes, celebrities, having anything they want. It always seems confusing when their lives end up not being all that fun. They sometimes have way more than their share of addiction, depression, divorces, and all-around pain and misery.
Does the Stuff Even Make Us Happy?
When we've gotten that thing, our lives seemed to depend on: the prom dress, the boyfriend, the car. It made us ecstatically happy!
Briefly.
Someone else had on the same dress at the prom, the boyfriend suddenly liked your best friend, and some jerk dinged the door of your car.
In other words, life just keeps happening. The good, the bad, and the ugly and new stuff only dulls the pain temporarily.
What Is Fun Really?
I have a sticky note on my desk lamp that says: "What's the most FUN thing I can do right now?"
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The reason I have that note on my lamp is because I like to have fun.
But who doesn't? The funny thing is how we fritter away our time, not having fun.
It's like we're always going to have fun later. When we get off of work, when the weekend comes, when the laundry is done, when we get that promotion, when we get used to the stress of the new job, when we get a boat, car, or...(fill in the blank).
What I notice happens with me is I get so focused on avoiding un-fun stuff... I waste away my fun time.
Hocus Pocus Focus
One of the bajillion things I like about my goals is that I finally decided to build the fun into my everyday life. I accomplished this by finally asking myself what's actually fun for me.
Turns out, I can now do a lot of seemingly un-fun things (like work out and struggle with website technology) because I became uber-focused on what I really want in the long run.
Be Happy Now
That's the reason for the note. It's a check-in for me. When I'm sitting down to write, or pay bills, or learn how to speak Spanish, I see that note.
"What's the most FUN thing I can do right now?"
And I give myself permission to get up and do whatever sounds more fun to me. Funny thing is: When I decide what I want ahead of time and make a list of the things that will get me there, I find myself answering: The most FUN thing I can do right now is precisely what I've got on my list to do next.
(Pause to appreciate how amazing that is.)
This seems revolutionary to me. I don't think I've ever felt like that before. A lot of my life, I resented everything on my lists. They always seemed like things I had to do, or at the very least should do. Looking back, it wasn't because the task itself was something so terrible. The problem was I hadn't taken the time to sit down and decide what I wanted and view my list from that angle. It's not that I love folding clothes, washing dishes, or doing laundry now any more than I ever did. It's that I see it as contributing to the life I want.
It's incredible how different that feels.
In a lot of ways, I'm working harder than I ever have. (Okay. Not currently, but in the months leading up to this leave of absence. I was juggling a lot of stuff, but feeling more and more frequently, I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.)
That is a happy place to be.
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Daily Hits of Happy
-The robin in our back yard who feels so comfortable with us that it can take a bath in the fountain just a few feet away.
-The robin in our back yard who feels so comfortable with us that it can take a bath in the fountain just a few feet away.
-Feeling focused and in the f l o w.
-Veggies all prepped in containers in the refrigerator.
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"Positive thinking is powerful thinking.
If you want happiness, fulfillment, success and inner peace,
start thinking you have the power to achieve those things.
Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results."
-Germany Kent
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"I worried that people wouldn't like me.
Now I try not to worry and focus on being happy."
-Lea Michele
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"Each day, wake up with a plan.
Don't just approach your days in an unfocused void.
That state of mind leaves too much room for discontent,
opposition, unhappiness and hopelessness."
-Carlos Wallace
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