April 1, 2020 - 201 - "The Little Cat Who Cried Wolf"

Why Cats Have to 'Talk'

    The short answer to why cats have to 'talk' is:  Because we're stupid.

       Cat expert, Jessica Pierce, Ph.D., had this to say about why cats learn to 'talk':

          "You see, adult cats don't meow at other cats.  Instead, they communicate through scent, body language, facial expression, and touch.  The meow is human-directed communication.  Cats have learned that they cannot communicate with us the way they do with other cats, which is why cats meow at humans to communicate.  Scientists believe cats have refined this "meow" language to converse with humans."

     In other words, cats have had to stoop to our level to get their points across.  But they have learned to do this very expertly. 

     I've always loved this quote by Nan Porter:  "If cats could talk, they wouldn't." 

     It used to even seem true.  

     Ella didn't  make a sound for the first six months we had her.  I thought she was mute.

     She would barely interact in general.  We put a collar with a bell on her so we could check her whereabouts from time to time.

     I was sad about this.  I wanted to pet and play and interact with her.  What's the point of a pet...that you can't pet?

Careful What You Wish For

    When Ella first started 'talking' to us, I made the mistake of responding to every little peep she made.  She soon learned that if she said 'Jump.'  I'd say:  'How high?'

     Getting me and Michael to do her bidding became a fun filled pass time for Ella.   Looking back, it's really quite extraordinary the number of Stupid Human Tricks she's managed to teach us.  

Doing Her Bidding

     We know exactly how to sit, and recline to provide greatest comfort to her.  She gives us a steady stream of 'meowing' orders to let us know if our cat bed skills are sub-par. 

     We now know how to let her out, how to let her in, how and when to give her treats, when she would enjoy playing with us, and when she needs her space.  

     She has so many needs that, basically, she won't shut up.  She barks orders  (sorry Ella...just a figure of speech) at us all-day, everyday.  

Feeder

     One thing that she doesn't yell at us as much about lately is when she gets fed.  This is because we got an automated Feeder.  The vet felt she was becoming a bit too, how to say it delicately?  Well, fluffy.

    The feeder was awesome for helping her trim down.  She got exactly the amount the doctor thought she should...distributed in small amounts throughout the day.  So she couldn't scarf everything up first thing in the morning, and have nothing left for later.  

     It had the added benefit that she stopped seeing us as the source of her food. 

    We need to get one for Mexico too.  While we were there she quickly got re-accustomed to yelling at us at all hours to give her more food.  

Oops

     So I came home from a trip and Ella was crying to get out, crying to get out...and wouldn't stop.   Michael and I went out to sit in the hot tub and she came with us.  But when we came back in she was still raising a ruckus.

    When her feeder went off a little later I thought I'd just double-check her food.  I try to do this anytime I'm around and hear it go off...just to be on the safe side.

     I went to look:  no food

     Not one morsel.

     Ah ha!  That's why she was crying!  It was for a real reason!  Poor Ella!!!

Guilt and Loathing in Fort Worth

    So, we are now very sad and sorry pet owners.  I hate to think of her being hungry even if it was just for an afternoon (we hope.). 

    I tried to use this situation as a teaching moment.  I explained to Ella that if she keeps up a constant stream of complaints we have a hard time knowing if it's a serious one.   I told her that this habit is not serving her.    

     As with so man teaching moments with a cat...this was utterly and completely a futile effort. 

     She explained back to me that we are terrible and evil and she is looking into other options for her humans.

Gotta Go

     Okay, well, Ella's hollering at me again.   I think the problem might be that she wants me to freshen my (excuse me:  her) water glass.  It's over an hour old and she likes her water fresh.  Also it's almost 1/2" from the top of the glass...which she hates.  It causes her to sometimes get her chin damp when she drinks.

    I'd better take care of that right away.  

    I guess it's a good thing after all that Ella has learned to speak the language of her servants.

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"Crying wolf may have been the boy's undoing, but the true irony was that the wolves were always lurking nearby."

-Wes Fesler

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