April 24, 2020 -224 - "How to Lose Friends and Influence No One"

If You're Done Talking to Someone at a Party

    (Heh heh...party.  Right.  Remember those?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Yeah, me either.)

    So, if you're having a theoretical conversation with someone at a theoretical, pre-social distancing gathering, and you theoretically don't want to hang out with them anymore...

      The easiest way to end a conversation is to say that you have a blog.   

     Trust me on this.

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    These days it only comes up if someone who knows me mentions it in a group.  This is because I learned early not to mention it at all ever.  

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    It's not easy.  Sometimes a topic comes up that I've spent considerable time researching and writing about.  The impulse to quote myself (lol) is nearly impossible to overcome.  

     But, yeah, overcoming the impulse is an absolute must. 

    The most casual comment, intended to be a quick aside, leads to excruciating awkwardness...

       "Yes!  I know just what you mean.  I've thought about this subject a lot.  I even wrote a post on my blog about this...  So what do you think about....?"

    No matter how quickly I try  to turn the conversation back to the other person, the damage is done.  

    It's like I’m somehow putting them on the spot.  Which is strange, and yet, I guess I get it.  

    I've been there, too.  When other people mentioned their blogs to me. (Now I'd pepper them with questions about how they actually make the programs work and what the heck some of the stats mean...)  

     But, before all that, I'd be thinking I should ask about their blog, but also be worrying that I won't like it, or that I won't get around to reading it, or maybe that they blog about their Star Wars action figure collections, or their love of birding, and, well, I’m only interested in really fascinating stuff...like acrylic closet organizers.  

     So, I definitely understand that someone might be afraid to pursue the subject.  

     It's the degree of angst shown that perplexes me.

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    The reaction is about what you'd expect if you reached for a stranger's wallet, pulled out all of their cash, and stuck it in your own pocket.   They look at you with great suspicion.

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    Actually, I think it's even worse than stealing someone's money:  it's potentially becoming a drain on their time and attention, which is a far bigger deal in our world today.  

    Anyway, now you have this trick up your sleeve in an emergency:  To extricate yourself from a conversation...just say you have a blog.  

     It'll work like a charm.  

Diversion is the Answer

   
     I've learned the best thing to do to escape this situation is to say something clever like:  "Is there any more of that cheese ball on the buffet?  I just love cheese balls!  Please excuse me while I rush off to the buffet for some of that wonderful cheese ball."  

     Yes, it's a cheesy excuse.  But, hey, everyone's off the hook.  

     And you, hopefully, got something really gouda out of your trip over to the smorgasbord.  Then you won't be bleu.  You'll just have a ball for the rest of the party.  Maybe find someone to hang out with that's a little crackers to spice things up.   

    Baahhahahahah.  

Back to Isolating

    All this talk about awkward party moments is making me kind of grateful for this whole pandemic thing.   

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"Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn."

-Scott Adams

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"Blogging is to writing what extreme sports are to athletics; more freeform, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive.  It is, in many ways, writing out loud."

-Andrew Sullivan

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"All you get is the pleasure of a completed task."

-Scott Adams

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