April 3, 2020 - 203 - "Hard Times. Hard Choices."

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

Should've Seen This Coming

     My flight to Boston was cancelled today...which I expected.  But I was reassigned to deadhead (travel as a passenger) on two flights to get to Boston to pick up my trip tomorrow.  

     The first flight was close to full.  This I did not expect.

     I thought we'd get everyone who had to travel to where they needed to be, then slow down to nearly nothing.  Just the bare essentials.  

    

We're Here For Your Safety

     You can't drill it into flight attendant's heads day after day, year after year, that we're here to protect our passengers; to resolve potentially dangerous disputes,  administer juice and cookies to someone with low blood sugar, resuscitate someone who isn't breathing, be on the lookout for strange behavior, funny smells, potential weapons...just in case someone might be in danger...then expect us to act like the threat of a deadly pandemic doesn't exist.

    People who spend decades concerned about people tripping on bags and blocking escape from a plane on fire...can't be asked to ignore everything they've been told by the government, the CDC, the WHO...and their own common sense.

    We're still here for safety and, obviously, this isn't safe.  
   
    I'm not a whiner.  I've known I was at risk these past few weeks.  But I felt it was a manageable risk to me since loads were light, I was using extreme caution, and I'm in excellent health.   I felt the people on my flights knew the risk, were careful to avoid making the situation worse, absolutely had to get somewhere, and wouldn't be on the flight if they were in poor health.  Also, steps had been taken to be sure there was room to seat people away from each other.

     Now it appears we've got random people buying cheap tickets to go do nonessential things...and they're crammed into seats like that's okay.

Now What?

    I tried to talk to my supervisor about this...but no answer.  And no call later in the day.  There never seems to be anyone to call when we really really need help or information.  It's their evening or weekend off.  Meanwhile there's an airline going on out here.

Bummer!

    This isn't much of a 'hit of happy'.  I guess it's finally what the title promises:  some damn Deep Thoughts on a very Serious Subject.

    And I am hating it!

Exploring Options   

    I suddenly find myself exploring options for taking leaves of absence, possibly withdrawing money from my 401K to live on, plus the possibility of unemployment, which I've only ever considered before from the point of view of paying it as an employer.   I'm scrambling to find out how much medical insurance will cost, and wondering what it would be like not to fly off somewhere once or twice a week.

    Normally I'd say I hate that idea, but suddenly my job isn't what I signed up for.  It would have seemed unthinkable to take a leave two months ago.  I have always really loved my job, loved the rhythm of time at home and time away, and loved the interaction with customers and coworkers. 

     I've worked since I was 15. I took a 6 month leave after September 11, when Michael got a temporary transfer to Germany, and I was once off work with a broken wrist for 4 months.  Both times I was very anxious to get back to work.  

     This time I'm wondering if I'll ever be anxious to get back to work.  It all feels so sad and wrong in about a million ways that no one can change or control.  

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    I guess it's a matter of looking at what's happening, weighing the options, making the best decision possible, and then doing whatever it takes to be able to look back at today's choice and believe that it was the right one.  

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"Don't be afraid to make mistakes. But if you do, make new ones.  Life is too short to make the wrong choice twice."

-Joyce Rachelle

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