July 10, 2020 - 301 - "Family and Other Mental Health Issues"

I'd Love the Fantasy, but...

     I'm learning more and more about why I started this blog, to begin with.  Writing is my way of trying to make sense of things that don't make any sense.  My family of origin being one of them.  I'd love to have grown up over at The Cleaver's house or The Anderson's...but that wasn't the case. 

     What startles me most is how unwilling I've been to see the problems.   

      I mean, I saw them at the time, but figured everyone's got their own stuff.  I just thought my job was to make my life as happy as it could be right now and try to forget the less than stellar moments.

     I think I did too good a job of forgetting.  (Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, as they say.)

Trying to Singlehandedly Change Reality

I keep flashing on a memory of our dog, Sfuzzi, meeting a cat for the first time:

Sfuzzi:  HI!!!  I'm a dog!  What are you?  Do you want to be friends?!  Wanna play?  
Cat:  (Slashing Sfuzzi's nose with its claws).  Hiiisssssss!!!   I hate you!  You are my mortal enemy!
Sfuzzi:  (Crying). What did I do?  I just wanted to be friends.  Why can't we be friends?  What did I do wrong???

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    Not sure how I missed this crucial life lesson myself:  Not everyone is going to like you.  

    No matter who it is, and how much you'd like them to.

     No matter how hard you try.

    Sometimes you're just a dog to their cat.  And maybe it's not even really about you.  

     Some people just hiss and scratch at everyone. 

     * s i g h *

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     I miss Sfuzzi.

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Daily Hits of Happy

    -We can choose not to continue patterns we were handed in childhood.

    -Hair color.  Yay, for hair color!

    -Finally getting my hair cut (with masks and just me and my hairdresser, blah blah blah...).  But:  Yay!  Yay!  Yay!  I'm a new woman.

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"Lunatics are similar to designated hitters.  

Often an entire family is crazy, 

but since an entire family can't go into the hospital,

one person is designated as crazy and goes inside."

-Susanna Kaysen

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